I remember growing up in the ’60s and ’70s. Every one of my friends including myself lived with both of their parents, and their siblings….. were siblings by birth. It’s funny how times change. Circumstances, people and lives….they all change.
“Leave it to Beaver”
Wally, June, Ward and Beaver Cleaver.
In a perfect world. Families would be just like “Ward and June Cleaver“, of “Leave it to Beaver” or maybe even “Lucy and Ricky Ricardo” from “I Love Lucy.”
But instead, it’s more like“The Brady Bunch.” This is because more and more these days, there are blended families all around.
But why is that really? Why is it, that there are so many blended families. Well, simply said…it’s the way of the world. People don’t just get married to get divorced. But it happens. In the most basic sense, a blended family is where the parents have children from a previous marriage or relationship. But all of the members come together as one unit. Blended families are becoming increasingly more common.
Since the divorce rate is now so much higher. The number of blended families has increased. More commonly, blended families consist of the grandparents raising their grandchildren. Or adult siblings raising their nieces and nephews, while raising their own children. Gone are the days that the two married parents stay together, ” until death do us part” to raise their children. Don’t get me wrong. There are still many families today that remain together, have raised or are raising their kids and are still together as one. But, it’s just a growing trend that blended families outweigh the traditional family. It just is…what it is.
I for one, am part of a blended family. I have one son from my first marriage and my husband had two from his. Together he and I have raised all three in the home that we built together….the “five” of us. They were ages 5, 10 and 11 when we “all blended”. Now all on their own at the ages of 30, 35 and 36. Believe me, raising three boys is a feat in itself. But raising someone else’s children has its own obstacles.
I had to endure the phrase that any stepmother would hate to hear…..”You’re not my mom!” I heard it only once and that was fine for me because it cuts to the core when you hear that. It really isn’t easy raising someone else’s children. It can and will cause conflict, with the kids, the exes and the spouse (partner). There are quite a few blended families that just don’t make it because of that fact. It can really be a hard en-devour to take on. Personally, I feel to me that it’s much harder raising someone else’s children than if they were your own flesh and blood. But I truly feel that the journey of being part of a blended family is what is meant to be. It can be a struggle and you want to throw in the towel. Believe me, I have felt that way numerous times. But if the truth is known….these kids learn to depend and count of you.
Luckily, where our boys were concerned. They have always considered themselves “brothers” and not “stepbrothers”. This is the way they have always introduced themselves. So with that…I am truly grateful.
It really is hard to meet anyone these days that have never had any children. Or even been married for that matter. Most are either still raising them as a single parent or their kids are grown and on their own. But in all reality, so many families are brought together at all stages in life and become a larger blended family.
I think that hands down, my all-time favorite blended family member doesn’t come from a “stepchild” or a “half brother or sister. But from an “adopted child.” These children are blessings to so many families that have waited a lifetime for a child or children to love. It takes a special breed to adopt a child….to love and care for that child. These children are handpicked by the parent(s) that yearn for that child. It could be a newborn all the way up to a teenager. These children have been waiting for the gift of adoption. These parents patiently wait for that child to love and raise. These children truly are “Gifts from God.”
Adoption….it’s a beautiful thing.
The world is changing so fast every day. Time is just flying by in a flash. But family unity, whether it be a blended family by marriage, adoption or any other circumstance life throws our way. It should always remain the main priority. Because I believe that everything starts at home. Cheers to those who have taken on the blended family task. You are one in a million!
I think the ‘family unit’ as we once saw it has changed, evolved and adapted in some incredible ways, allowing more people to feel ‘accepted’ as a family than ever before. Thank you for bringing up some GREAT examples here!
I appreciate that and I completely agree with you. 🙂