Family, Posts, Sweet Soul Inspiration

Life After Loss..Healing Grief

There simply are no words. Nothing can really be said that can lift the pain that cuts to the core of your very being. It’s a pain that is never expected, can never really be prepared for and never want. But it is a part of life, and it happens every day……… It is the end of a life……..the loss of a loved one, a friend, parent, child and even a pet.

Healing grief….how does one really do that. Well, there aren’t any rules, there is no handbook. No proper way to work your way through the process. But there is a process. So many stages of grief. You must know that no two people will share the same process. Because it’s feelings and emotions that you deal with in your own way and in your own time. There simply are no rules.

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Pappa Joe

At this time in my life, being only 58 years old. Like so many others, I have lost people in my life. If I can add that I am lucky…well it is only because the lives that have left my life, crossing over to the other side are very few. The one that hurts the most, is my stepdad, Joe. He passed away on Thanksgiving Day…November 22, 2001…..he was only 53 years old. Melanoma took his life and it took a huge part of my heart with him when he passed away.

“Pappa Joe”

Pappa Joe and me

I remember the telephone call from mama, just like it was yesterday. “The biopsy from the sore on the bottom of Joe’s foot is melanoma.” Being in the medical field for almost my entire adult life. I knew that this wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I did my best to encourage her and give positive thoughts. But knowing the history of melanoma, I was scared. Scared for her, scared for my family, scared for Joe……scared for me. Being the brave fighter that he was, he went through months of treatments. But after a year and a half, the disease took over and took control and his fight for life ended on Thanksgiving Day. My life has never been the same. I will forever miss his goofy jokes, his silly smile, and his amazing ‘bear hugs”. But most of all I miss just him. To this very day, my life and my families lives are forever changed. Our Thanksgiving Days since his passing have never been the same.

My Grandpa…

Oh grandpa….. you lived to be 95 years old. Only weeks from your 96th birthday. I know that you lived such a long life and you were ready to “Go Home.” But we were still grieving the loss of Pappa Joe when only four months later……you simply went to sleep and just never woke up. I am so blessed to have had so many wonderful childhood memories with you. But don’t let that diminish the fact that you left a hole in my heart only a grandpa can fill. Only my grandpa can fill. Only you.

My grandpa and me in 1979


My Beautiful Grandma

Dear sweet grandma. The last couple of years of your life was full of doctor appointments. Your better days beginning to become fewer and far between. Your illness began to take its toll. You lost your fight just months after losing grandpa. I miss so many things about you. I especially miss my weekly telephone calls to you. Our late-night talks when I would come to visit. I hear certain songs on the radio and can see you dancing. I know that we cannot live forever, just know that you do forever and always in my heart.

Things Remembered


My Little Peanut

The love of a dog. You just cannot grasp that feeling until you’ve had one of your very own. I had a dog, “Lady” when I was growing up. But I never really experienced the unconditional love of a pet until our little Peanut. He was 6 weeks old when he came into our lives and completely stole my heart. The ironic thing about him was that he an I shared the same birthday. We already had a deep connection. He had these dark black piercing eyes that would stare deep into my soul. He was the best dog ever. We would never have another one like him again. He became ill at about 6 years old, where he was diagnosed with diabetes. I had to learn how to give him shots every day, twice a day. He was such a good little dog, always allowing me to give him his shots. Six months after being diagnosed with diabetes, he went blind in both eyes. It completely devastated me. He was blind for two months when it was confirmed that he was a candidate for cataract surgery. The procedure was successful and his sight was back. But sadly his diabetes took control of his little body and he had a stroke. The worse decision we ever have to make was to let him go. He didn’t need to suffer.

I cried for days. My normal routine of giving him medicine for the past two years ended just like that. I was completely lost. The hurt was deep down into my soul. I continue to miss my little Peanut even to this very day almost eight years later.

We have since gotten two more babies, Baxter and Riley. I refer to them as “my little loves”. But there is absolutely no comparison to Peanut. His memory does now and will always remain tucked away in my heart.

Our “Peanut” the little wuddy.

Until We Meet Again…

Sadly, I have lost coworkers, friends, and classmates. All, leaving this world way too soon. But the fact of the matter is that this is life. A life that was already planned out. It is never easy. Just be the support system or allow the support system. The different stages of grieving are going to be different for each individual person. There is no time limit, only time.

For Pappa Joe, grandpa, grandma, and even my little Peanut. I dedicate this post to you all. I take great comfort in knowing that the love from you all will be waiting for me when it’s my time to join you. Until we meet again.

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  1. I’m so very sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to get over the loss of a loved one. I thank God for giving me the strength and peace that I need. I hope he comforts you as well.

    1. Wendy, thank you so much for such kind words.

      1. Sherry says:

        Thanks Brenda for sharing, I don’t remember meeting Joe, but dang I loved your grandma and grandpa, just thinking of them brings smiles and wonderful memories and I think that is so very important. I feel blessed to have known them. Blessed to be your friend!

        1. Sherry, you would have loved Joe and he would have adored you. The feeling is mutual my friend. Love you xo

  2. Thank you for sharing this! ❤️

  3. Had to read the second time it was so good.

    1. Thank you Jamie, this truly means a lot to me. 🙂

  4. I’m sorry for all the loss you’ve suffered…losing loved ones brings up so much emotion on anniversaries, etc. Sending you a gentle hug.

    1. Thank you for the kind words Pamela and I especially appreciate the hug. 🙂

  5. Beautifully written and so touching!

    1. Thank you so much Lisa.

  6. I could relate to so much of this. I have suffered a lot of loss in my life and you are right, grieving is different for everyone and can even be different depending on where that person is at in their stage of life.

    1. Yes, ma’am. It’s different for everyone. I appreciate your sharing your thoughts. Thank you.

    2. Anna Vazquez says:

      Brenda, just beautifull and I can relate. I am sorry for your losses yet they are angels at your side as mine are at my side. Thank you for sharing and we will be seeing each other very soon. Miss you!

      1. Thank you, Anna. If anyone can relate…I know that you can. I appreciate your sweet words. Miss you too my friend.

  7. My condolences on your loss! I too have lost 2 of the most important people in my life – my Mom first, and within 18 months my Dad after 44 years of marriage! My only solace is that they are no longer in any pain and I will see them again in Heaven. God gave me the ultimate peace that nothing in this world could ever give me! I pray that you have peace for the journey!

    1. I too am sorry for your loss and I truly appreciate your kind words.

  8. This is very timely. My family and I received word on Friday, that our family Physician Assistant and her 8 year old son were killed by a teenage driver going the wrong way on an Alabama highway. He also passed away. Our P.A.’s husband and other 2 sons (ages 3 and 11) are still hospitalized. Thank you for sharing the Angel’s Voice.

    1. Oh no! I am so terribly sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family and the families of those lives lost.

  9. We just lost my husbands mother after caring for her for years. Thanks for writing!

    1. Oh, Kim. My heart breaks for you..your husband and your families. Big, hugs to you my friend. I hope that my post helped…even a little bit. Take care.

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